It’s fair to say my feelings about animals have been inconsistent. As a kid, I loved dogs and wanted to be a vet. My pragmatic Asian parents1 saw pets as messy2 and expensive, and over time I absorbed that view. In high school, I started calling dogs "big rats" and convinced myself I wasn’t an animal person at all. College brought me back to liking dogs through a couple of friends' particularly friendly pets. Then a few years ago, after encounters with some unexpectedly social cats, my entire mental model flipped. I didn't even realize cats had become my favorite until a friend casually asked me to choose between cats and dogs over text. My instinctive response surprised even me. And that's how I cemented my identity as a cat lady.
Last fall, inspired by my coworkers' stories about fostering — including my manager who at one point cared for twelve cats at once (!?) —I decided to start fostering myself. That's how Riley entered my life.
Within the first week, every preconceived notion I had about cats being aloof disappeared. My previous cat interactions had been brief — visiting friends' homes, quick encounters at bodegas, a glimpse on the street. But living with Riley was different. After a short adjustment period, he became incredibly affectionate.
When I got home from work, I'd open the door to see him do a big stretch as he stumbled in a sleepy, dazed walk to greet me, then he’s proceed to follow me around until something more interesting caught his attention. When I curled up with a book, he’d hop onto the bed and nestle beside me. When I was watching Emily in Paris, he'd position himself squarely in front of my laptop screen, drawn by the warm keyboard and meowed at the screen.
What surprised me most was how quickly I found myself caring about details I'd never considered. I’ve always thought of myself as too practical to become the kind of pet owner who splurges on custom pet furniture or boutique treats. But fostering Riley helped me understand how people get there.
Before he moved in, I’d read up on cat kidney health and committed to a wet-food-only diet. I was strict about adding warm water to each meal to help with hydration. I coordinated with my co-foster-roommate to implement a strict twenty-minute feeding window to encourage focused eating and maintain a consistent schedule. Within a week, we upgraded the litter and my roommates and I found ourselves investing in toys, brushes, and scratching posts. Each purchase felt completely justified by the joy we saw in him.
Watching Riley grow from a skittish stray into a confident, loving presence in our home was deeply rewarding.
The depth of my attachment hit me when I returned from a weekend away. My instructions hadn’t been clear, and the litter box area hadn’t been maintained to the standard I'd unknowingly developed. As I scooped out the clumps and laid down fresh litter, I felt a pang of guilt — like I’d let him down. In that moment, I realized I'd developed the instincts of a devoted pet parent without even noticing. I'd somehow convinced myself I'd become a Riley whisperer, attuned to his every need and preference, though I'm still not sure if that was genuine intuition or just elaborate self-deception.
Saying goodbye when Riley went to his furrever family was harder than I'd anticipated and he almost became a failed foster. I'd signed up to provide temporary care, but the bond that formed was anything but temporary. I even tried to convince my boyfriend to apply for adoption. He came very close.
Fostering Riley taught me something unexpected about my own capacity for care. I discovered I could develop deep, immediate attachment to a being whose needs I'd never considered before.
The first foster always leaves the deepest mark, and Riley’s mark taught me that sometimes, the most profound shifts in how we see ourselves come through the smallest, most unexpected teachers.
Recently
A little snapshot of what I’ve been up to and what’s on my mind. But first, more cat content.
A slide dedicated for Riley in my annual girls trip a few weeks ago where we shared updates on life
It’s true cats are so talented
I was in Hong Kong last week visiting my family :’)
hong kong is so beautiful 
a perfect sunny day in Hong Kong The Kitchen God’s Wife - Finished this book on the plane ride back. Spent the rest of the 14 hour flight in deep contemplation.
Right after my last post, I visited DC again but in a different context from last month’s Cherry Blossom trip. I attended a policy field trip hosted by Interact, IFP and the Foundation for American Innovation to better understand the world of policymaking. The sessions were energizing and left me thinking more deeply about how my own work could have broader impact.
Pragmatic Asian parents who see pets as unnecessary expenses and a source of a messiness. My parents are especially wary of cats scratching the furniture.
To be fair, Riley did scratch up my roommate’s piano stool.